So you're thinking about starting sessions but don't know what to expect?
I understand how nerve-wracking the first session can be, so I thought I'd break it down for you - here's what to expect if you choose to have a first session with me, Grace Parker, Counsellor in Haslemere, Guildford, Surrey and Online.
First Contact
So let's say after having a read about me - you decide. "Yeah.. she might be right for me."
- You click contact me and you'll be taken to my contact page where you fill in your contact details and an option to give some description of what you'd like help with.
- Within 24 hrs, I'll be in contact to arrange our first session, once we've confirmed a day and time I'll also send over our contract - some clients prefer to fill it in beforehand, others prefer to keep it blank and do it with me in the first session, whatever works best for you.
- You First Free Session begins.
1. What if I feel nervous?
If you're feeling nervous on the day, know that, that is okay. I'm not expecting you to be the "perfect client" (whatever that means!) you can come as a ball of nerves, flood-gates opening or a little bit guarded - however you are, is completely okay with me.
If we're online or in person, I'll greet you with a smile.
If we're in person I don't naturally shake hands, but I'm happy to do so if you would prefer. I'll then show you to our room where you can take your time deciding between two chairs. We'll have 50 minutes together.
2. What is a Counselling contract?
Once we’re settled, we’ll go through contracting. Even if we only have one session, contracting gives us both an idea on what to expect - should you decide not to continue, I'll destroy our contract.
As I say, contracting is nothing to worry over - it's just a bit of paper that clearly gives an overview on what we can both expect from each other during our work together. (You can read more specifically about my contract in this blog here, and it has a magical twist.)
I do my best to make our contract as natural as possible, so you might find as we talk I'm writing bits down and it's all done in the end with only your signature needed if you haven't filled it in beforehand. The contract covers your goals in therapy, confidentiality, payments and who I can contact in case of an emergency and more. Should you have any questions at any point you are very welcome to ask, and I'd be happy to answer you.
The contract also helps me understand where you are emotionally right now. I’ll ask directly if you are self-harming or having suicidal thoughts and we might go through a safety plan and a risk assessment if that's needed. This isn’t scary and you won't be "in trouble" for being honest - it's just a few practical things to refer to in moments of distress. If you're under 16 or if I believe your life is in immediate risk, I have a duty of care to inform your GP. Sessions can continue with these in place. If you have any questions on this, please do ask.
3. Will I need to talk about my trauma?
I would not expect you to jump strait in to your trauma. I expect your trauma feels difficult to bare, let alone share with someone else. Trust takes time to build, and I am willing to take that time with you. There is no rush or expectations, we start where it feels comfortable for you.
At the same time, it's not uncommon for clients to jump strait in: maybe after years of holding it all in you find yourself bursting open - that's okay too. In that case I would look to gently ground you so you feel able to decide if you truly want to start where you have, or if you actually taking your time feels better and fear momentarily took your driving seat. We'd ground by doing some quick breathing exercises and other creative techniques.
However you show up: you don’t need to be prepared or express yourself perfectly - just come as you are and we’ll find the way together.
If you’re unsure on where to start, I’ll ask some gentle questions about how life is for you right now and how your concerns are affecting you.
This is your time to talk about what matters to you, and it’s also a chance to see what I’m like as a Counsellor. You’ll see how I reflect, listen and try to understand and be with you in what you feel. You’ll start to get a sense of whether I’m the right Counsellor for you - someone you feel you can trust to join you on this journey.
Sessions are 50 minutes. I’ll give you a gentle reminder as we come to the last 10 minutes. When our session ends I'll thank you for meeting with me, and hold the door open for you and say goodbye. 🙂
4. The First Session Ends - what's next?
I don't ever ask if you want to continue with sessions in the first session - so there's no pressure at all. Instead, I'll thank you for meeting with me and say I'll drop an email within 2 days time to check in to see if you'd still be interested in continuing.
The best part about your first session being free is that if you feel I’m not the right fit, you leave with a clearer sense of what you’re looking for - with no loss. I understand wanting to dip your toes in before committing, so I’m happy for our first session to be free. If by chance, I feel you can be better supported elsewhere I'll share this with you and give who I recommend.
If we both decide we’re a good fit - either in the session or by email afterwards - I’ll be looking forward to working with you. We’ll agree a regular day and time when we see each other that works for you and away we go.
Questions are always welcome and safe to explore at any point. See below some common FAQs to see if your question is listed, or get in touch today to have your question answered.
And if you decide you'd like a first session, I'll look forward to it, whenever it feels right for you.
Common FAQ's on First Counselling / Therapy Session:
- “Do I have to share everything in my first session?”
- - No not at all - you share what feels okay enough for you. It's our first session, we have time to explore. I focus on you feeling comfortable with me first, so you have that safety net should things feel difficult at times, so you know - we're in this together.
- “Can I cry in therapy?”
- Absolutely you can cry. Sometimes we don't know how much we've been holding until we feel safe - sometimes those tears can be a surprise or feel uncomfortable to share with someone else, I want you to know you don't have to worry about me as I welcome them, every time.
- “What if I don’t know what to say?”
- That is completely understandable and not uncommon, I want you to know you don't have to panic. I can take the lead if you would prefer me to, and ask some questions. Sometimes you might have an answer, other times maybe not - both are okay. I can be with you in the confusion, and together we can find the answers that make sense for you.
- “How do I know if a therapist is right for me?”
- Great question. Well - there's the logistic stuff - are they contracting with you? Do they have the right credentials? And can you both see each other on days/times that work for you? Lastly, do they work in a way that suits you? - a strict, CBT therapist in comparison to a warm, Intergrative therapist for example work very differently from each other. Are you looking for strong direction and accountability? Or are you looking for someone to metaphorically, hold your hand and walk with you in the journey? (I'm more the latter!) Personality wise too - is this someone I feel comfortable with? If yes - that's half the question answered.
Please note I am not an emergency service. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger or at risk, see services below:
SAMARITIANS: 116 123
Text 'SHOUT' to 85258 for 24/7 confidential support in the UK
Call 999 or contact your local GP/services